Optimism

Hey everyone,

I haven’t written in a while but I wanted to expand my entries to my thoughts and perceptions of today and not just my the experiences that molded me to think this way. But before jumping into that I wanted to update you guys on the last year I wasn’t writing and the things that made me stop and shift focus.

Today is September 15th of the year 2020 and the last time I wrote anything was August 2019 and I don’t even think I finished it to publish it. I was coming out of something that I couldn’t write about until some kind of closure was experienced, and that didn’t happen until like June of this year. I left of a few days before August and was talking about the beautiful shift in self from a traumatic situation, what I’m going to do is fast forward a week or two right before my birthday which is August 18th.

Around that time I felt something wrong in the air between me and my significant other that I couldn’t let go, and with my nagging about it he admitted to cheating on me. At the moment we agreed to try to work it out, things were pleasant as they could be with what was going on, he took me out for my birthday as a pre going out before my actual birthday dinner and we had an amazing time and even got a lot out on the table. The very next morning he held me in his arms and said I cant be with you anymore, imagine my surprise. What’s toxic about it he said he will still buy me everything I wanted for my birthday take me out again and all and said he will always be there and held me. We agreed to stay and try to work things out in home for the next three months, if it doesn’t work we go separate ways and if it did then great. Of course that was a lie and I found out he was with an older woman who was dining him while he was dining me.

We again tried to be mutual and stay together in the home with him on the couch and me in the bedroom until we found something separate. I was a stay at home mom and then was still injured and wasn’t cleared to go back to work until January of 2020, so it was hard being in each other’s presence so much, in my response for my sanity I talked to an old friend that allowed me to come on his business and make some money under the table just to get me out of the house.

Between the pain in my knee and my mental it only lasted for about a month. Which caused friction in the house, but beyond the friction I can say my ex still made sure I was fine in so many different ways and that’s one thing I would never take from him. We did this dance until January 2020, and even after because I didn’t start working until February of that year he paid my expenses until April 2020. Although I explained to him it wasn’t needed and I was working he still made sure I was ok. I’m saying this to say regardless of what was perceived and how long it took me to be ok, he is still an amazing man and I hope he makes someone happy some day.

Due to him being who he is (this is why I give him so much praise) I was able to expand my business three ways, and ideas for another program that can lead to opening the male youth program I want to open. That time he gave me let my mind find its true passions. He bought me my startup kit for nails and at the time going back to work in February I didn’t have to much time to play with it to learn. Then a month later COVID-19 hit my area hard requiring a big increase in unemployment and I was one of the ones now unemployed. Although he was still paying the rent and bills I still had to find something because he damn sure wasn’t obligated. That first month at home I watched YouTube video after YouTube video and got good at nails within a month.

Beyond nails, I started reading tarot cards and also got great at that. Because my hobbies were growing so fast, I decided to brand them and work even harder. Concluding in me having On Anotha Level as my umbrella business, I have two YourHighness Productions in the works, ‘Lib’s Nailz’ and ‘Life, Love, and Lituatons with Libby Lovee’, and working on YouTube channels for both. Beyond having his help, I can say I’m most proud of myself to be able to be turn my pain in greatness.

Beyond this entry being an update, its one of my optimism metals. To be able to go through that much and still come out on top is an amazing feeling. Not long after I thought about my birthday (because it was coming) and what I waned to change in myself this year coming (something I do every year), and it moved my mind to try to open up a program at my alma mater molding the young girls into ladies of today. I feel like the last year I just went through was a pre groom for me for this program. When I told my ex he was excited for me, in that moment I realized why we were separated and I could have done none of this without the separation and was able to appreciate what life previously threw at me (appreciated the congrats gift too, the most wanted business owner object). Again one of my optimism metals.

I came into my 26th birthday in pure happiness, got a room all by myself and enjoyed self care before any other pushings and pulling of people who wanted to see me for my birthday. Enjoyed my friends and family and the next Monday flew to Chicago for a week for more solitude. During that week I was able to get all the emails out and responses for the ‘Big Sisters and Beyond’ program which was the best birthday gift of all.

I took last years trauma’s and turned them into this years successes, something we all can do if we have optimism as a quality we hold. Problems come in and out of your life optimizing using optimism gets you through them. I hope this entry helped someone see the bigger in whatever situation you may be experiencing and with this being one of my last of this nature I really hope it did some justice somewhere in the world. Until next time and next topic.

P.s. 13 isn’t always unlucky you make your own luck and life.

-Libby Lovee